From the perspective of a person suffering from it.
To all our loved ones who have to deal with us on day to day basis. Please know this:
We don’t do it to you! We do it to ourselves. When we can't take this any more and it starts spilling over the edge, we switch to our loved ones. Yep! That’s how it works. So. When I say: Don’t take it personally! I mean it.
And yes, I know. It's easier said than done! Cuz we sure know how to press those buttons and drive the loved ones up the wall, the way that we drive ourselves.
What’s going through our (or at least my head). Well. I build scenarios. Then I want them to come true. When they don’t, I OCD. I tend to blame myself for not letting the perfect flow to go the way it should, because I didn’t catch on the signs. Or God forbid do something to get in a way of that flow. And then blame others whom I expect to have
Main Lesson for me to learn:
It’s NOT going to go accoding to my perfect plan. And that’s OK! Accept it for beeps sake.
One of the best remarks I’ve ever recieved was from a family member with whom I confided as to why I was OCD’ing (what I was OCD’ing about) at a particular moment. And she’s taken a lot of crap from my OCDs (still is).
And her answer was this: So, you’re not planning to quit a self-assigned profession of God?
This made me LOL so hard, that I forgot what I was obsessing about at the moment.
My OCDs run superficially and deeply. I blame myself for things that I couldn’t possibly control. Well. At least I find what to blame myself for, even when it comes to things outside my reach. I take responsibiity for events that happened outside my vicinity. For example. Someone passed away. I found out days later. I started rewinding on what I could have done to prevent it. I ended up finding what I failed to do (according to own perception) and now hold it against myself every time I remember this person…
Yes. It’s one of those coo coo cases.
Topic of the day:
What’s on our OCD menu?
Or what am I going to be obsessing over today?
Going in the reverse chronological order: One day in July..
Reporting what’s bothers me today, while fresh in mind. (but behold. there is so much more)
It might sound ridiculous.
We should have gone to the ocean! Family style, take the older family members, dogs, and go go go!
Reasoning behind OCD: Because it’s one of our family members’ day off. And because I think we won’t have that opportunity again, when everyone else is free and the weather is nice and and and… But it is realistically not happening and I can’t do anything about it.
Oh oh oh. Aaaand. If I do get my way, and then something goes wrong or God forbid I later realize that it was not the "right" thing to do and somehow disrupted another flow or opportunity, then I will OCD myself to death about how horrible I am for pushing something that was not meant to happen and how it triggered another "wrong" chain of events.
Maybe we OCD to keep us alive inside? Not to become numb. To feel more, to stay awake. And we do this rude awakening through self torture? Maybe.. Philosophical moment over.
OCD of a day before:
We must have certain peole come over our place, because they were in town. And another person who wanted to see those people was available. And could have come over. But they didn't. Because I didn't invite them persistently enough. Blah.
That was a tough one to get over. I drove myself and family member nuts that day.
Be honest WITH yourself ABOUT yourself. This is the most you can do to help others!
I am not your flawless Life Coach who has all the answers! I’m a Life Coach with more issues than you do.
I will not preach the right way from wrong.
What I will do!
I will hear you out, trying to understand your personal struggle.
I will teach you from what I know and go through on daily basis.
We will then togehter start figuring out the best ways and solutions! No prescribed recipes. Our whole life is about experimenting, trying things out, and coming back with the reports and sharing our feedback, experiences, and conclusions. That's all we can do in life, isn't it?